What One Little Boy with Autism Taught Me About Bedtime
- The Sleep Fixer
- Oct 31
- 2 min read
When Bedtime Feels Like a Battle: Bertie’s Story
By Kerry Davies | The Sleep Fixer
Meet Bertie.A bright, curious six-year-old with autism and sensory processing differences.
Every night, bedtime felt like a battle.What was meant to be a peaceful end to the day turned into hours of tears, frustration, and exhaustion for everyone.
Bertie’s parents had tried everything, sitting with him until he fell asleep, leaving him to settle alone, changing routines, rewards, and reassurance.
Nothing seemed to help. Bedtime started at 7:30pm… but sleep didn’t come until nearly 10:30.
And while Bertie could sleep through the night once asleep, the journey there was emotionally draining.
Seeing the World Through Bertie’s Eyes
When I meet families like Bertie’s, I always try to imagine the world through the child’s perspective.
For Bertie, each part of the evening carried stress:
Coming off the iPad felt overwhelming.
Bath time was distressing — especially hair washing.
Tooth brushing triggered sensory discomfort.
Bedtime felt unpredictable and tense.
His body and brain had learned: “Bedtime = stress.”
And just like adults, when we feel stressed, our bodies release cortisol; a hormone that directly blocks melatonin, our sleep hormone. So even if Bertie wanted to sleep, his body wasn’t allowing him to.
Redesigning Bedtime
The first step was to look at his true sleep need.
At weekends, Bertie naturally woke around 8:30am. That told us his body needed about 10 hours of sleep, not 12. So a 9pm bedtime made more sense than the earlier 7:30pm target.
From there, we worked to remove stressors and add calm transitions:
Move the bath earlier. Bathing at 7pm allowed time for recovery if it felt stressful.
Soothing transitions. We replaced “screens off” with gentle music and a sensory activity he enjoyed, such as threading.
Predictable structure. A “Now & Next” visual chart helped Bertie understand what was coming next.
Comfort cues. Turning the quilt sideways and tucking it in gave him the deep pressure input his body craved.
With these changes, Bertie began falling asleep around 9:30pm — calm, settled, and content.
The Ripple Effect
The shift wasn’t just about Bertie sleeping better. It transformed the whole family dynamic.
Evenings became peaceful again. His parents had time to talk, relax, and reconnect, without feeling burnt out. And Bertie began to approach bedtime with calm rather than fear.
The Takeaway
Sleep isn’t a one-size-fits-all formula.Especially for neurodivergent children, it’s about understanding their sensory world and meeting them there; not forcing routines that don’t fit.
If a part of bedtime feels stressful, change it. Move it earlier, make it playful, or take it out altogether. The goal isn’t “perfect bedtime.”It’s peaceful bedtime. 💙
Want to explore more stories like Bertie’s?🎧 Listen to Sleep Stories with The Sleep Fixer wherever you get your podcasts.
📘 Download a free sleep diary at thesleepfixer.com
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